We have been battling the rain, my tomatoes and I. The heavy soak caused many buds to drop and leave me with well formed, slender stalks of... leaves. But now that the air is hot and the sky is a quasi-blue, some of the new buds have set and I am hoping for a good crop.
We have some interesting specimens this year: the requisite Beefsteak, for salads and burgers, Celebrity for, well, for kicks and giggles, Thesioniliki for their red Greek sex, Yellow Brandywine for tradition, Yellow Currant for numbers, Aunt Ruby's Green to prove that all that glitters is not red, Red Pear Bush for meaty sauce and to wed with basil, and Black Seaman a color riot of red, green and something else, which reminds me of that old joke. You know that old joke.
The whales are playing in the ocean, minding their own whaley business, when a trawler comes a-hunting. The men harpoon a young bull and take him away, bloody and spasmic. The women whale folk declare that this aggression will be repaid. The matron of the pod lays out the plan: "We'll wait until the boat is upon us, and then we'll swim beneath the boat and in one action, force our blowholes open and topple the boat with one mighty blast. We'll then seize the sailors and eat them up!"
"Let's do it!"
One shy, reserved cow whale in the back is silent. When asked why she is so reserved, she replies, "I'm okay with the blowjob, but I'm not swallowing any seamen."
My mother hears of the garden and tells me, "Your father would be amazed," and I'm not sure what she means by that. Would he question my ability, or would he wonder that his urban son has staked out a tiny plot of land to grow the things he so lovingly nurtured?
Either way, it is a joy. Next to the tomatoes we have cucumbers, zucchini and eggplant. Chillies abound with jalapenos, serranos, Thai reds, Hungarian hots, red and orange and green bell peppers, cubanelles and white sweets among the three varieties of basil, mint, cilantro and parsley. It is a modest garden, but each evening when I visit, I find something new, something made to nourish us, and I am happy.