Via the Bloggermeister Meisterblogger comes Frank J's "Who the Hell Do You Think You Are?" Blogger Quiz. To wit:
1. Who the hell do you think you are?
I think, therefore I think I am. I think. At least I thought so last week. But when I think about it, I think that maybe I'm thinking about the question too much. You know, trying to hard to think. Thinking about trying is not the same as trying to think, don't you agree? I mean what's the point of having a mind if all you do with it is think? Ever think about that? Hmmm?
2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
Okay so you got me. I get by as Ann Coulter's spank monkey. It's a living.
3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
Only in Idiot Journalism. Other than that, spank me.
4. Do you even read newspapers?
Does a little weekly called The National Enquirer ring a bell?
5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
I used to watch this show on Sunday nights. What was it called? They had another show just like it only with better looking people (except for that one scary old guy who reminded me of Karl Childers in that Sling Blade movie. He would just stare at you, like he was looking right through to your brain and mumble something about memos and physicals and Tang. He was a scary bastard. I hear they killed him. Is that true?).
6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
Well, not since the restraining order. How was I supposed to know that Sean Hannity was soooo cranky about getting a little bit of attention from his fans? I mean it's not like I camped outside of his house every night. Okay, it was exactly like that--but I can explain! It's just that sometimes, when you meet someone who touches you deeply, it's hard to hold back your feelings, know what I mean? Frank? Know what I mean? Hey, where do you live?
7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
You wouldn't say that if you knew who my real dad is.
8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
Oh why the hell not? It's not like no one's ever tried it before.
9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
Of course I have a passport. Want one? I can get you a spiffy new one from this guy in Tijuana. But you'll have to change your name to Grosslaw Pussufelych.
10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
See #9, numbnuts. Oh wait, Mexico's not really another country anymore, is it? Did we annex them or did they annex us? I saw something about that in The Weekly World News a while back. Wait a minute, it's around here some place...
Okay here it is. "Authorities announced today... blah, blah, blah... mexican jumping beans... blah, blah, blah... lesbians and aliens....
It was something about lesbian aliens, I think, but I can't find it right now, okay?
11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?
That's Colonel Chickenhawk. I'm a full member in good standing of the Blogger's Militia (we like to call ourselves the Bloggilitia, but you can say we're "blogg-a-licious!").
12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?
No, but I have danced with devil in the pale moon light.
13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
Just the newspaper.
14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
Your worst nightmare.
UPDATE: Welcome Frank J. readers, seekers of knowledge and parole officers. Make yourselves at home. Watch the furniture.
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