Vlad Putin sends his regards to Viktor Yushchenko on the occasion of Mr. Yushchenko's 51st birthday.
“I praise highly the results of the recent meeting in Moscow, constructive relations that we maintain. I hope that our continued direct dialogue will serve to the development of an equal and mutually beneficial Russian-Ukrainian cooperation in all spheres,” Putin said in the congratulatory message.
It appears that not all of the message has been publicized. In an exclusive, Bloggledygook has obtained the full missive and publishes it here for the first time:
I would like to add, just in passing, that the people of Ukraine have always been like my children. And sometimes it becomes necessary to punish your children when they exhibit anti-social behavior. Also, it often is a wise tactic to play one child against the next in order to establish authority and keep everybody 'on their toes.'
With this in mind, I believe that it is in the best interest of our two peoples that we put aside our differences and recriminations of the past and instead look to the future. What I mean by this can be communicated through the proper channels if you wish, but let it suffice to say that in regards to your recent gastronomic mishaps, it would be best for us to let bygones be bygones and not dwell on what might have been.
So Yanukovych got the screws put to him. Am I crying? No! I take it like a man! Kuchma was a blubbering fool at the end and I am embarrassed for Our Ukraine that she had to witness such cowardly spectacle. But do I care for what has gone before? Again, no! I am a man of the future, a man who can look into the eyes of his greatest enemy and pull out his mind with my bare hands! I am a lion!
But enough about me. What about you, Viktor Andriyovyvh? How about forgetting this silly notion of finding those responsible for your alleged poisoning? You know, I once got quite ill after a night in Bratislava where I consumed some questionable borscht and a few too many jello shots. I was queasy for days! Did I complain? Did I moan like a little, little girl? No! I am a man! I take life as it comes! And so must you, Viktor.
How about it, bubbala? Drop this whole investigation before it's too late and somebody gets hurt. Do it for me. Do it for Our Ukraine. Do it because it is the right thing to do. I trust that when you look into your heart, you will find forgiveness. And besides, it's not like you'll be president forever. That's my job! Ha ha! That's a joke! But you know, I wouldn't start my own car if I were you.
All the best,
V.
p.s. Can you get me Yulia's cellphone number?
Comments