I don't understand. How long has this been going on? If I had known that there was going to be all these award contests out here, I never would have started blogging. The pressure is just too damn much. How on earth can I even begin to compete with vipers like these?
Of course, just like when my run for First Grade Class President degenerated into recrimination, scandal and no cupcakes for snack time, I suspect that this little popularity contest will come to no good. And I'll be sitting here on the sidelines, laughing at all those fools fighting over their precious little blog awards.
And then as the confusion rises to a fever pitch, I'll swoop in and steal all the awards and carry them off to my secret hovel where I keep my stash of Awards I Should Have Won Anyway!
Hah! That's what you get for ignoring me, buster.
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